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Love and Intimate Relationships
Question:
I've heard and read that our natural state of awareness can also
be called love. Can you expand upon this?
Stephen: The presence of awareness with the absence of
'me'
is love.
Q: Is the absence of
'me' required for there to be love? Can't love be experienced in personal, intimate relationships?
S: Love is the essence of all existence. Love is
the natural state of all being. All there is is love. Without love, nothing is. Love is not personal. There is
no 'my' love or 'your' love: there is just love.
Q: How is love experienced on a personal level in intimate
relationships? Surely, there must be a 'you' and a 'me' to
know and experience love!
S: When two are involved in a personal relationship
there are times when the sense of 'you' and 'me' (ego) falls away in
each person. In the absence of the sense of you and me there is
love. This is the sense of peace, joy, and blissful oneness
for which we're all longing: it's our natural state.
When the sense of ego rises again, the natural state of love is
personalized by the mind and claimed as a personal experience of the
ego. The two egos then assume that the other is the source of their
love. This, of course, leads to fear of loss, jealousy and a host of
other painful emotions.
Q: That makes sense, but I don't
'love' everyone. There is a
special sense of love I have for my partner. Aren't there different
types of love?
S: On a personal level, there are different types of
relationships, and there can be a special attraction between
partners based on biological and psychological compatibility. But there are not different types of love or a special love. Love is
the essence of all being, it's absolute, unconditional, and
impersonal.
Q: How will this recognition help me with my personal
relationships?
S: Knowing yourself as pure awareness and not a
separate ego, there is the recognition that your essential nature is
love. You are what you have always been seeking. You don't need
anyone or anything to fill the sense of emptiness, loneliness, and
separation that is the egoic experience. The fear of loss, jealousy,
and other painful emotions that are the essence of egoic
relationships fall away. You are able to truly enjoy the beauty of
all human relationships in complete freedom, love, and peace.
Love is your natural state.
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